Disclosure: Dance to Learn, LLC provides resources to dance teachers & studio owners. As such, this post may contain affiliate links, which means we may receive a commission if you click a link and purchase something that we have recommended. While clicking these links won't cost you any extra money, they will help us keep this site up and running! Please check out our disclosure policy for more details. Thank you for your support!
Today I am talking about a topic that has been the most requested by you and in fact, this topic has received the highest interaction of any other post that I've ever shared on my Instagram and Social Media accounts: and that is Separation Anxiety. As Dance Teachers and studio owners Separation Anxiety is most common in our youngest dancers, but can trickle into the older age brackets as well. It's important as Dance Teachers that we can identify the signs of separation anxiety so we can work on building the trust and rapport between dancers and parents needed for them to feel comfortable and safe in your studio.
Watch on YouTube:
Now before I get too far into this topic, I want to start off by saying that it's important to remember that Separation Anxiety and anxiety in general is a medical condition that plagues both adults and children. This is more than just a "phase" that a child experiences when they are younger. Separation Anxiety Disorder also known as SAD is an anxiety disorder in which an individual experiences excessive anxiety regarding separation from home and/or from people to whom the individual has a strong emotional attachment. SAD can plaque children and adults alike. As dance teachers, we most commonly will experience separation anxiety in our youngest dancers between the ages of 2-5, however it can also exist in older children as well. Even some parents may experience separation anxiety when leaving their child in a new situation for the first time. Since this is a medical condition, it is very important as dance teachers and studio owners that we treat all cases of separation anxiety with care, understanding and empathy. We should never make a child or parent feel guilt or shame for their anxiety, and I hope the tips in today's video help you create a plan to help ease any separation anxiety that students and parents may exhibit when first entering your studio.
It's important that you can identify cases of Separation Anxiety in your studio so you can provide these families with a plan to help build trust, provide a sense of security and reassure them that they are safe at your studio.
The most common sign that a child or parent is suffering from separation anxiety is when they don't want to be separated during class time. The child may be overly clingy to their mom or care giver or may even have a panic attack or temper tantrum at the time of separation. The anxiety is most likely caused by a lack of trust from one or both parties, and it's our job to help the child and parent feel safe and secure within your studio.
Some other less common signs of separation anxiety can be:
- extreme worry about their family members or loved ones when they are separated
- They are afraid of being lost or forgotten by a family member
- Afraid to be left alone
- They may experience frequent headaches, tummy aches or other physical ailments
If signs of separation anxiety last more than 4 weeks, the child could be suffering from Separation Anxiety Disorder and may need to seek the help of a child psychiatrist or mental health expert.
So now that you know the signs of separation anxiety let's talk about some steps you can take as a studio owner and dance teacher to help ease separation anxiety.
Tip 1: Post your Observation Policy
It's very important before parents enter your studio that they know and understand what your observation policy is. Don't assume that they should know that dance classes are non-parental participation classes. Many youth sports and activities involve parents in classes and encourage parent participation so it's our job to ensure parents know before even setting foot in your studio what your observation policies are. I would recommend that you post your policy on your website with a short disclosure under each class such as: Please note this class does not allow parent participation or observation.
I also send home a welcome to the studio email series that explains all of our policies and procedures so parents have the information before hand and I include steps they can take to prepare their child for their first class, so it's not a surprise to anyone when they learn that mommy can't come into the studio with them. The last place you want to be sure you are disclosing your observation policy is when parents call in to inquire about your studio. Be sure that your receptionist is trained on your observation policy and informs parents of the policy before any trials or studio visits.
Tip 2: Create an Entering the Classroom Routine
This is something I created after experiencing one of the worst cases of separation anxiety that I had ever encountered. This was back when I was an assistant teacher at a studio, and we had a class of about 20 ballet tappers. It was the first class of the session and parents were sent back to the studio and entered the classroom to meet the teachers and get their little ones ready for class. It was when we asked the parents to leave the classroom that chaos ensued. About 15 of the 20 kids had a complete meltdown over mom having to leave. One child become so upset she threw up all over herself, the instructor and several other students. Needless to say we cancelled the class that day and created an "entering the classroom" routine. We informed parents that they would need to remain in the lobby and were not to come back to the studio. The instructors met the kids and parents out in the lobby and we had a train whistle to help the kids get all aboard the dance express! They held on and choo choo trained back to the studio. The kids thought it was so fun that they didn't even realize that moms were left behind. Sometimes allowing moms into the studio, can make separation anxiety even worse. So be sure that you only allow students inside the classroom and parents need to remain in the lobby. By picking up the students from the lobby, you can allow any parent and child that are experiencing separation anxiety, to work through it in the lobby and it won't have a negative impact on the the rest of the class. If a child arrives late, your front office staff should be trained in how to escort the child back to the classroom.
Now despite your attempts to inform and educate your parents ahead of time of your observation policies, and your Entering the Classroom routines, you may still have parents and students who arrive at the studio and aren't ready to be separated for the dance class. It's very important in these situations to follow the following process:
1) Make sure they know they are not alone. Again we never want to make our parents or students feel shame or embarrassment by separation anxiety. I always tell the moms and students in these scenarios that they are not alone and what they are experiencing is very common.
2) NEVER FORCE A CHILD TO SEPARATE. I'm not sure where the idea came that if we force the child into the classroom maybe they will watch and see how much fun we are having and participate on their own. It's really important that we respect the needs of our students. By forcing a child into a classroom where they don't feel safe we are only worsening their anxiety which could cause them to associate dance and your studio as a traumatic experience rather than a loving and caring experience. Instead offer the parent and child an other alternative:
Tip 3: Create a Parent Participation Program!
A Parent Participation Program is far more than just implementing a Mommy and Me Class. Your Parent Participation Program should be a program within your studio designed for toddlers and early preschool aged children to prepare them for dance class. Here's how it works:
Open up a Parent and Me Class up for children ages 18months-3 and their caregivers. This offers a class for the toddlers who aren't old enough for regular dance classes as well as the students who may need some time dancing with mom or dad first. In order for this program to work for your studio a few things need to happen:
1) Be sure a Creative Dance class for kids ages 3-4 or 5 immediately follows Parent and Me. What will happen as moms and kids are leaving the mommy and me class, they will see the kids coming in for the Creative Dance Class. In the parent's subconscious mind, they will be thinking about their child's future in your studio, and that is the next step - to graduate from parent and me and join a child only dance class.
2) Be sure whoever teaches Parent and Me also teaches Creative Dance. The goal with parents and children in the parent participation class is to build trust and rapport. We want both the parent and the child to feel safe in your studio. If the parent and child spend 6 weeks building a relationship with the parent and me teacher just to have a whole new teacher for creative dance, you'll be taking steps backwards to rebuild the trust that you just gained. Also, when it comes to instructors be sure that you hire an individual that is passionate and knowledgeable about toddler and preschool development and has the personality to teach toddler and preschool classes. These are not classes for student teachers or first time teachers who have never taught these types of classes or these age groups.
3) Be sure that these classes are non-performance classes. These are classes that you open up to first time families in your studio who are just looking to see if your studio is the right fit. If you try to push performance opportunities before you build the trust and rapport needed for them to feel confident and secure in your studio, they will not continue in the program. These classes should run on a rotating schedule of 6-8 weeks and be introductory classes. Parents can always enroll in performing classes when they are ready.
After students have completed a few sessions of your Parent Participation Class, they will be ready for the next step: the Creative Dance class. Keep in mind that children will develop and be ready for the Creative Dance class at their own PACE so some children will be ready to dance without mom sooner than others. It's really important this next step is never pushed, forced or rushed. Both Parent and child should feel comfortable with moving from the Parent Participation class to the Creative Dance class.
Tip 4: Transitioning to Creative Dance
My first tip for this transition is to provide the child with a little award and a gift that they can use in the Creative Dance class. What's the gift? A Comfort Buddy! I recommend teddy bears for their comfort buddy. Dancers can bring their comfort buddy with them to the new class to help ease any separation anxiety they may experience as they get ready to dance on their own for the first time.
Comfort Buddies can also be stuffed animals or other comfort items that children have had in their possession for years and not the teddy bear that you provide. It's important in this transition that parents are informed of the comfort buddies and that they are allowed in the Creative Dance Class.
How Comfort Buddies Work:
Our goal with comfort buddies is to get children completely independent from the comfort buddy by week 6. The process is as follows:
Weeks1&2: During our first weeks without mom, we dance with our comfort buddy the entire class
Weeks 3&4: We want to find time to separate from our comfort buddy. The most common time to do this is during your across the floor or developing skills portion of class.
Week 5&6: By week 5 we bring our comfort buddy in case we need, it but our goal by this time should be to dance the entire class without our comfort buddy.
All children will move through this process at their own pace. Some children may require a longer transitional period to move away from their comfort buddy than others. It's important that we never rush the process and make the child feel safe. I've personally found, that once the child has danced with me and their care giver through out a parent participation class they tend to be fully separated from their comfort buddies within the first 3-4 weeks of the Creative Dance class. Once your students have successfully completed the Creative Dance class, they are ready to move into your Preschool Program where they have more fun opportunities to learn and grow through dance and in that program have opportunities to perform in your recitals and showcases.
How do you help your dancers and parents who suffer from Separation Anxiety? Let me know in the comments! Will you be implementing any of these tips in your studio?
Related Posts:
Comments